I got an instant message (IM) finally from my husband. It was so nice to talk to him. I had been waiting all day for him to contact me because of course I love talking to him.
You know people wonder why my husband and I talk about the things we do when we are on the phone or IM. For instances we talk about what we will do with the money we have saved up when deployment is over, or whether we'll sell the car and get a new one or trade it in. We discuss what kind of furniture we want. What accounts the money is currently going into and how it is being spent. I tell him the bad stuff that goes on too. If the pattern isn't clear, we talk about things that any couple military or civilian would talk about state side. For some reason people find this weird. Well for the life of me I don't understand that.
It makes sense to me that we would talk about things like this. Not only does it give my husband and I a sense of normalcy, but it also helps us emotional deal with the fact that we are 890274982 billion odd miles away. Honestly just because he is gone doesn't mean he isn't needed in the running of our household. Now of course I am in charge of pretty much everything because he is gone, but I still want his opinion. I suppose every other Army Wife would feel the same.
I guess a lot of civilians feel differently... They make it seem as if because he is gone that we should only talk about how much we miss each other and how sad we are because we are apart. Well how many phone calls can a person really have talking about only that? And is that really making anything better for our husbands or are we just putting unneeded worry on their minds?
Civilians feel as if we should shelter our husbands from every bad thing happening in our lives state side. Frankly I feel that is a little ridiculous. I mean sure do not bother with small stuff that will just add unneeded stress, but life does not stop when our husbands are deployed and our marriages sure the hell don’t stop. Honestly it comes down to the fact that our jobs as wives is to pick up the slack of our husbands while they are away, not to replace them and cut them out. We need to bring some kind of normalcy (I mean normal for the army) into their lives while they are deployed.
Now I could be wrong. First i'm sure not all civilians think this way. Second I could be wrong about how to go about this. However it seems to me that this way of doing things is not only beneficial to our husbands, but to ourselves as Army Wives. For me I know it helps me to feel closer to my Husband. It makes me feel like even though he's gone he is still a part of my life.
Deployment is hard enough with them being gone and everything seeming so chaotic. So why not try keep things as normal as possible? Like I have said many times, "Deployment is what you make it". Use this time to not only make the deployment a little easier on you and your husband, but also to strengthen your bond because if you can keep your marriage going as smoothly and "normal" as possible during deployment, think about what it will be like when he comes home. Think about how much better that adjustment period will be when he comes home if there are only a few things you need to tweak when you’re actually face to face. Just think about it. Maybe this way of dealing with deployment won’t work for you, but if you never try it, then you'll never know. Talk to your husband about it. Ask him how he wants things to be between you two during deployment and ask yourself.
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